Nope, not the B-horror movie, but in fact a nice 24 hour vacation. This weekend was all about getting away. Putting down the computer, ungluing my eyes from my email, and escaping a bad bout of cabin fever only to go to a cabin..hmm. A quick thanks to one of my best friends Danny, I was invited to spend the night a literally the coolest cabin ever. His family owns a modest cabin near the Santiam Pass here in Oregon and it is gorgeous. It's like a Hollywood-made set for a film kind of perfect. Except for maybe that outhouse... that... that was was straight out of a horror movie set, hahaha.
I have been rather stressed lately with all the work I have been trying to doing. It's a good stress, don't get me wrong, I am doing what I love and I'm happy. I am working on a plan for myself and it's been hours of organizing my thoughts, dreams, skills, and goals in to a cohesive plan. Not to mention I have to begin prepping for two major festival exhibitions this summer and fall. If you haven't heard, I have been invited to show my photography at the Bend Summer and Fall festivals. I am beyond excited, but I am working very hard to make sure I have enough variety in my inventory, all the set pieces I'll need for my booth, and all of those last minute details all ready for the shows.
As for the other projects I am working on, I am in the process of writing two different books simultaneously; one personal and one professional. I am also researching starting my own online web series that I hope to launch next year if all the stars align. Who knows, maybe one day I'll end up on the Travel Channel or Discovery Channel sharing my adventures and life with the world.
So, if any my readers were to say, have connections to either of those channels, feel free, NO, feel encouraged to uh...send em my way!
I really have no shame sometimes. :)
Anyways, back to the cabin. The scenery is spectacularly green. For those of us who live in the Pacific Northwest we know first hand how rich the colors of green can be around here, and the cabin was smack dab in the middle of the most heavenly of rain forrest landscape. I was honestly awestruck by my surroundings. It's been a long time since I have ventured in to the forrest and I have to say I was truly missing out. Check out the pictures in this post to see! I couldn't even count the number of shades and tones. Truly picture-perfect.
The cabin itself sits about 20ft above the river below. Off the back deck you can see the river rushing at full force across a landscape littered with huge boulders of granite and river rock with some stones embellished with pockets and veins of quartz. It was so beautiful and peaceful looking that it was all I could do to prevent myself from seriously jumping in. The water was crystal clear and looked so inviting. If only it weren't 40° I might have done just that.
Really though, the best part of the whole trip was spending the entire day planted around the campfire doing absolutely nothing. Not a single thing. I posted two photos to social media of the fire pit and that was it. We made hot apple cider with brandy for myself, and bourbon for Danny. I could definitely have had five or six or twenty of those.
Personally speaking, I really haven't been at peace like this in a long time. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't recall ever being as at peace as I was this weekend. I think it's because for the first time since the 6th grade I'm actually really happy; happy with myself and happy with my life. I haven't had a bout of depression since I left my job in November and I wasn't riddled with overwhelming anxiety – both social and mental. I was just there in the moment with a really positive attitude. Spiritually I feel good, I feel good about myself; something I never thought I'd be able to experience. What this break made me realize is that if in the long run this artistic path doesn't workout, I can be confident in saying it was all worth it for that epiphany/feeling. I never want to forget or lose that feeling and I have made real effort to work at really embracing the positivity that is flowing in to my life now. It's not easy after being encapsulated by negativity and self doubt for so many years, but I am trying. Depression isn't something easily conquered, neither is anxiety for that matter, but I am starting to win small battles and that's the first step.
Click through the slides below to see more pics from this weekend.
I need more trips like this.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please take the time to reach out to the resources that are available. Mental illness is not something ever be ashamed of or ignored.
You are important, let someone help you through your challenges.
I only wish I had known about this when I was at my worst.
Or you can text "start" to 741-741 if you are more comfortable texting then talking on the phone.
National suicide hotline
Be good to yourselves.